How to Discipline Your Toddler Without Yelling
Being the parent of a toddler can be a fun and rewarding experience, but let’s be honest, it also comes with its share of challenges! One of the challenges parents face is disciplining their child. At first, yelling might seem like an effective solution, but we know, through abundant research, that yelling can have a negative effect on children’s emotional development. Luckily, we have several effective options available to use to guide our children towards positive behavior. In this blog post, we will explore five strategies on how to discipline toddlers without yelling.
Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations
Toddlers do well with routine and consistency, so establishing clear expectations in a firm but gentle way goes a long way in helping them understand acceptable behavior. You may be wondering how in the world parents can be gentle while still being effective when disciplining their child? Many of us didn’t grow up with that parenting model, so it might feel unfamiliar. In our childhood homes, expectations might have been stated in a stern way, or maybe your parents didn’t set many expectations at all.
While it might feel unfamiliar to you, it is possible to set clear boundaries in a friendly way and then stick to them. Using simple and age-appropriate language to explain which behaviors acceptable and which ones are not also helps kids feel successful. Be sure to set expectations early and remind your child of your guidelines as soon as you notice they have stepped out of bounds. When you step in early, there’s less of a chance for you to “lose it” and start yelling to discipline your toddler.
Example: "We use gentle hands with our toys and friends. If you feel upset, you can express it with words instead of hitting."
Use Positive Reinforcement
Pointing out your child’s positive behavior can be a powerful tool in helping them learn what is expected of them. Celebrate their wins, because who doesn’t want to repeat the behavior that gets them celebrated? Focus on their efforts and accomplishments, no matter how big or small, as a way to boost their self-esteem and encourage more good behavior.
Example: "I noticed you sharing your toys with your friend! That was very kind of you.”
Offer Choices
Toddlers are beginning to develop their independence. By offering them choices, we give them a chance to make decisions within a controlled environment. When we limit their choices to only two options, we guide their decision-making while, at the same time, giving them a sense of ownership over their actions.
Example: "Would you like to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt today?"
Lead by Example
Toddlers are always watching us, and they often imitate our behavior. If we want our kids to use polite language or manage their emotions in a calm way, it is up to us to demonstrate that behavior for them. When we model the conduct we are looking for, we create a positive and nurturing environment for our kids to learn from.
Example: "I'm feeling frustrated right now, so I am going to take a break and calm down before we talk about it."
Validate Emotions
Toddlers often don’t have the language skills to express their emotions fully, and this can lead to frustration on their part and ours. Encourage them to communicate the best they can and then meet them where they are and empathize with their feelings. Validate their emotions, even if you can’t fulfill their immediate requests. When children feel understood, they are less likely to act out.
Example: "I know you want another cookie, but we've had enough for now. I understand that it's disappointing, but we can have more later."
Disciplining toddlers without yelling calls for patience and a nurturing approach. Using these strategies will put you on a path to create a loving environment that supports your toddler's growth and development in a positive way. If you need more strategies on how to discipline toddlers without yelling, contact me and see how I can help.